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It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. As with many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out students, as there were over 300 new students in the class.

The examination would be two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict, and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted - and the student would fail. One-half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated, as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student.

He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed in their booklets - all except the late student, who continued writing.

A half-hour later, the late student walked up to the professor, still sitting at his desk, preparing for his next class. The student attempted to put his exam on the stack of booklets already there.

The professor indignantly said, "Oh no, you don't. I'm not going to accept that. It's late!"

The student looked incredulous and angry.

The student demanded, "Do you know who I AM?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I do not," replied the professor, with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student belligerently asked again.

"No, and I do not care," replied the professor, with a distinct air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who then quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

---

A student was taking microbiology at the University of Nebraska.

The lab work was taught by a bubbly, enthusiastic teaching assistant.

One day, she announced that there would be an exam the next week. The class moaned loudly, so she began to jump up and down like a cheerleader, exclaiming: "Come on, everyone! Give me a T, give me an E, give me an S, give me a T!"

A student interrupted, yelling, "Give me an A!"